Introverts in the Church: Finding our place in an extroverted culture

http://barefootmeg.multiply.com/reviews/item/39
I debated about which site to put this review on. Since my cache of reviews is on the barefootmeg site, I decided to place it there and just throw a link up here for anyone that doesn't visit both sites.

Click on the link above to get to the review.

Introverted Evangelists? You've got to be kidding.

The eighth chapter of Adam McHugh's book, Introverts in the Church, is entitled "Introverted Evangelism" -- a term that many people might consider to be an oxymoron. I've always considered myself to be more of a discipler than an evangelist and this chapter pretty much bears that out, except that Adam makes the point that that discipling sort of behavior might also work well as evangelistic sort of behavior.  Let me explain from my point of view first, then I'll toss in some quotes from the book.     

When I think of discipling, I think of deep conversations about scripture, spirituality, life and our place in it. It's often a one-on-one thing and though one person in that pairing might be more "mature" or knowledgeable than the other, both end up learning and benefiting from the relationship and interactions. What Adam is saying is that when you do that exact sort of thing, only you're doing it with a non-Christian, that's evangelism.  

OK, so here's some words from the horse's mouth:

I think that our prevailing evangelistic methods are ill-suited for introverts.

For too long we have envisioned evangelism as one person, carrying a quiver of answers, assaulting another person who is armed with the questions. 

Rather, I consider us all to be explorers of the mysteries of God.  Fellow explorers are bound together by their trust and friendship, and by their shared aspirations and struggles.

We might even call our style of evangelism a "listening evangelism."

Postmodern people are not as persuaded by rational argumentation as much as they are by a lifestyle that substantiates a person's worldview.

He also made a comment that I found particularly interesting just from the introvert vs. extrovert perspective.  He said, "Introverts are more exhausted by initiating than by responding."  That is SO TRUE. There have been times when I've had "call so-and-so" on my to-do list for days.  But then for some reason they'll call me instead and I'm so relieved that I can accomplished whatever I needed to without having had to initiate the call. 

I always assumed that it was just an "I hate telephones" thing, but as I think about it, I can see that it fits for other circumstances as well. For example, it's hard for me to walk up to visitors during Sunday morning services. I don't know what to say or ask or do.  But if someone else is already talking to them, and I can just walk up and stand there until there's a point of conversation that I'm interested in and can speak to, then I feel much more comfortable and able.

Relational vs. Sociable

Quotes from a repost of a 2007 article by Dr. Richard Beck called Introverts in the Imago Dei?

"Introverts are very, very relational. They just aren’t sociable."

"It is true that deeper relationships are needed at church, but the route isn't always best achieved by throwing strangers together into forced conversation."

I've always hated those "turn and greet the person next to you" times.  Worse yet, I've been in huge meetings where you're surrounded by strangers and we were expected to turn to our neighbor, pour our hearts out to each other and pray for each other.  I'd rather spend several hours at the dentist rather than go through that again. Talk about awkward.

Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith

http://barefootmeg.multiply.com/reviews/item/36
I've mentioned Rob Bell and his book, Velvet Elvis a few times here in this blog and I finally got a review of the book finished today. Click through on the link above to read the review.

Soul Types: Matching Your Personality and Spiritual Path

http://barefootmeg.multiply.com/reviews/item/31
In the book Soul Types, the authors, Hirsh and Kise, link personality types and preferred methods of pursuing spirituality. Click through on the link above to read Meg's review.

Soul Types - INTJ

My sister has started to give me personality type related books for Christmas.  The most recent one she gave me is called Soul Types by Sandra Krebs Hirsh and Jane A. G. Kise. The book divides people into 4 over all soul types and then breaks each of those down into two smaller subsets:

Sensing

- Extroverted Sensing (ESTP, ESFP): The Active Spiritual Path

- Introverted Sensing (ISTJ, ISFJ): The Time-Honored Spiritual Path

Intuitive

- Extraverted Intuition (ENTP, ENFP): The Catalytic Spiritual Path

- Introverted Intuition (INTJ, INFJ): The Illuminating Spiritual Path

Thinking

- Extraverted Thinking (ESTJ, ENTJ): The Analytical Spiritual Path

- Introverted Thinking (ISTP, INTP): The Conceptual Spiritual Path  

Feeling

- Extraverted Feeling (ESFJ, ENFJ): The Community-Oriented Spiritual Path

- Introverted Feeling (ISFP, INFP): The Personal Spiritual Path

Though not everything she said about INTJ's fit with my natural tendencies, many did  (not just in terms of spirituality, but in other areas as well).  I thought I'd post a few excerpts that I think describe me:

"Their paths reflect a desire to learn, know, and work out their own spiritual philosophy. Often they are most interested in exploring big questions significant to their worldview and working out their own answers, studying in depth until they reach a solid understanding."  (p. 121)

This is in stark contrast to those who hear something from an "expert" and fall for it hook, line and sinker.  I know people like that, but that is definitely, certainly, absolutely and positively not me. Although I may come to agree with something that "experts" have written, it is only because I have done copious amounts of study on my own and have decided that the "experts" did a decent job.  That said, I'm not above adding notes and corrections to what an "expert" has said.  (Well, except Jesus.  I don't know that I've ever corrected him.  He rocks.)

Here's more along a similar vein:

"While Introverted Intuitive types enjoy listening to qualified experts or participating in discussions, if they need answers to a particular question, they are likely to go to a library or bookstore, read several sources, then come to their own conclusions.  They also enjoy in-depth study of a variety of topics, retreating with a stack of books to an inspiring place to indulge in the luxury of spending time with intellectual explorations that feed the soul." p. 124-125)

This is so me... and so not Rob.  Rob likes to take a passage of Scripture, perhaps even just one little verse, and sit and think on it.  He'll repeat it and meditate on it and underline it and read it again.  But doing that would drive me absolutely batty (more so than I already am).  Reading something once is enough for me.  I want to move on and see how it fits in context.  Better yet, I want to do a study on a greater theme and see how the bits and pieces and details fit together to create a cogent whole that I can them fit into some pleasing metaphors or guiding principles.  

"Introverted Intuitive types often pursue study for the purpose of designing or planning educational materials or presentations that will help others deepen their beliefs."  (p. 125)

OMG. That has Meg written all over it.  I've worked on a devotional for years.  I've seen other people's devotionals and they're essentially just pretty bits of string tied into little bows.  There's no substance to them.  Of course, if someone else were to read what I've written, perhaps they'd think the same thing.  But writing them, that took all sorts of study and thinking and cud chewing.   That's what I love.  ... Hmmm, I think I've published the first chapter here on Multiply somewhere. Sure enough. (Ignore the dorky logo.  I just didn't want Multiply-Man standing there.)

I've also, more recently, been working on writing a Bible study.  We attend a fairly conservative church and though I tend to agree with the doctrine, the church's opinions in other areas (such as politics, the environment, and meat eating) tend to turn my stomach. (But I've willingly put myself into that congregation, so I don't make a big stink about it.  I just make occasional jabs and they all make occasional jabs back... all in good fun.  And having to relate to someone who agrees with them theologically but disagrees in other areas has been really eye-opening and paradigm shifting for some of them in a good way, imo.)  I've tried to suggest a systematized study of environmental issues and what the Bible has to say about them.  But the book I suggested was shot down faster than my dog can nab a squirrel.  So I decided that the only way to really address this issue in any way that as going to work with these folks, I'd have to write a Bible study.  They wouldn't hear anything an unknown (tree hugging) author said, but they'd listen if it came to them straight out of Scripture.

... Anyway, all that to say that I definitely fit into the soul type that wants to do research in order to educate others.  I think that also comes out in my interactions here on Multiply.  I'm often helping people figure out how to use the site or fix problems. 

Our spirituality is something that we think of as something deeply personal and unique to ourselves, but here I've been pegged by Sandra and Jane who don't even know me.  Whew!  That's a trip.